NEWS

It’s called stability week. Every so often my exercise class has a week where we cut out the heavy lifting to work on brain and body connection, as well as balance and coordination. For five days, our exercises are challenging in a different way, providing us with insight we can use for our regular workouts. It gives us a new perspective, and it still makes us sore.

I like it so much that I’ve often pondered what it would be like if I scheduled a stability week in my personal life, strategically deleting stressors and worries. What would happen if I set up fewer commitments and responsibilities? Not a vacation, mind you, but a specified time without any heavy lifting.

I haven’t tried it yet because the pessimist in me knows better, and I’m also terrible at setting boundaries. In my experience, when I’ve planned for smooth sailing, something tips the boat over and chaos ensues. Why give fate any more material to work with? Yet, I admit the idea of incorporating a week of stability into my calendar still intrigues me and has become even more attractive lately.

Some people still use a paper calendar! (Lori K. Tate photo)

During the past few months our extended family has faced health crisis after health crisis. Doctor appointments, hospital visits, and pharmacy runs fill our calendars, as opposed to white space. (And yes, I still use a paper calendar.) Stability is a concept far from our reality. Even the thought of it seems luxurious.

That said, now probably isn’t the time to plan for a stability week. Instead, I’ve learned to grab patches of peace whenever I get a chance. I don’t mean getting a massage or facial. And I’m not talking about going out for a fancy dinner. I’m talking about inhaling normalcy and realizing what a gift it is.

When a loved one is sick, the first thing that gets swept away is any sign of normal. Wednesdays morph from family pizza night to the day of your weekly doctor appointment. Putting together a schedule is more piecemeal than concrete. Regardless, I’m learning to enjoy what I used to consider mundane activities. Things like laundry, grocery shopping, and driving my teenagers to school (while they still need me to) bring me more joy than they used to.

I realize “joy” is a big buzz word right now. We’re supposed to seek and choose joy every time we take a breath, but this isn’t that. This is more of an appreciation of what used to be and what I hope will be again — simple routines that aren’t peppered by crises.

Though my family is healing the best that it can, we haven’t reached the point of ordinary yet. My husband said to me the other day that he wanted to be bored. I’m right there with him. Give me a list of banal errands that don’t include any medical stops, and I’m your girl. We just want the status quo, if only for a little while. Until then, slices of stability will have to do.

The funny thing is, as hard as it’s been, I’m grateful these challenging times have given me clarity to enjoy what’s in front of me. Lots of cliché phrases come to mind, but the only word that seems to hit the mark is balance. You have to have the bad to enjoy the good, and that’s a lesson I keep learning over and over.

So as my exercise class approaches its next stability week, I’ll remember my new trick of finding peace in bits and pieces. Who knows? I might get the courage to see if I can make it last for a week.